Gumption.

Oh my, has it been a busy week. I have a post in the works re-capping my sister's baby shower from last weekend, but I want to make sure I can get the amazingly artsy pictures from Kim's camera sent to me first before I post. (I'm so jealous of her natural photography skills!)

I did want to share some exciting news from the past week that does not require pictures, though.

Where to start.......?

I don't even know where to start because I still don't know exactly what came over me to cause me to audition for GGSS's Fall production of Cabaret. After all, the ONLY experience I have that even comes close to musical theater/theater in general is: cheering for 6 years through high school and college, being in one play in high school, and, well, regular drama productions with my church throughout my school years. Oh also, dating Mike. I'm going to count that as experience because he has been my one and only intro course into musical theater. PLUS, let's not forget that (I believe) I naturally shy away from anything which involves me being in front of other people. Haha that sounds so funny when I say it (mostly because it is so true)! #shykelsey

So, after being very comfortable supporting Mike (and his friends) in their roles and skills on stage and becoming accustomed to all of the work that goes on into making a production happen, what thought process led me to thinking I could do that too? I feel like I had very little control over it.

So, basically...

"Farmer Hoggett knew that little ideas that tickled and nagged and refused to go away should never be ignored..." -Babe

I've always been in awe of how talented my group of friends are and have always told myself and others that the reason I don't participate in certain things is because I lack talent when, to be honest, my fear of failure is more of a barrier than a lack of talent. Skills can be taught and it's hard to know what you can do if you're too afraid to try. I'm such a fangirl of my talented friends and the announced production team that I was feeling a little disappointed about not being able to participate. Then I saw there were dance only spots announced and for the tiniest moment, I felt like this was fate and that auditioning was a great idea. I at least believe that I learn 8-counts fairly quickly (thank you, competition cheer). Of course, I do what I (annoyingly) tend to do when unsure of myself. I become paralyzed with indecisiveness, briefly and carefully mention the idea to the most important people in my lives to try to determine if I'm actually being crazy or not and then don't listen to them at all. This plan is fool-proof. If they support my idea, then I'm instantly affirmed. If they don't, it only strengthens my resolve to prove them wrong. I'm hilarious. And actually, everyone was pretty supportive of this plan. Courtney said, "This [step outside your comfort zone] would probably be really good for you" and I tried to take that as a compliment. Mike said, without a second thought, that I should definitely audition. Kelly, who knows me too well, said I would be like the Troy Bolton to Mike's Vanessa Hudgens (HSM reference, anyone?) and, of course, then I was sold.

Auditions



Thus, somehow, leading up to the first night of auditions, my desire to dance and perform outweighed any fear and nervousness. I was glad I was called back to dance a 2nd night because as auditions went on, the "not good enough" thoughts got quieter overwhelmed with thoughts of "strut strut strut". Then, as I should have known would happen just when I thought I'd double the size of my comfort zone....I was asked to sing during the next night's callbacks. I strongly considered that God was playing a joke on me. Here I thought I was AS FAR outside my comfort zone as I could get only to realize how much further I would be pushed. I enlisted lots of help to practice singing from Mike (an amazing singer) and another girl auditioning, Alex, who helped me find a song from HSM that I could sing and the musical accompaniment online. Apparently, there is a way to sing that I have not been doing my entire life. It is all about breathing and air control (band class nostalgia) and really hard! I'm in awe of anyone who naturally sings this way.

For the 2nd night of auditions, about 10-12 girls learned some choreography as a large group, performed it,  and then I was one of 5 girls asked to stay for more extended work to determine solo dancers. We did more advanced moves across the floor and I have to be honest that I had never heard of any of them and was definitely 5th best in this group of five talented women. However, when the cast list came out the next day, I had gotten a role as one of the 6 Kit Kat girl dancers in the show! (The name's Fritzy.) Mike got the role of Schultz and Josh is Ernst. Absi is going to be a member of the ensemble and a girl I met at auditions (Bethany) is going to be another Kit Kat girl. That means we have a total of FIVE William and Mary people representing at this show!

I'm so incredibly excited to have the opportunity to hang out with so many of my friends at the same time working hard to put on a great performance and showing of this famous musical.

Going back to finding the guts to audition.... These scenes from The Holiday (please tell me this is also one of your favorite movies) come to mind. I think I just got tired of telling myself that I can't do things and limiting myself. Mike sets a really good example in this area of my life as do many of my friends. Mike's base level assumption is NOT that he cannot do something. He just spends his energy figuring out how he's going to do it. Sara does not let people tell her what she can or cannot do. She doesn't need anyone's approval for anything and that is so empowering! (Btw, Sara is another Kit Kat girl in the show, basically my mentor for all hip movement and sass, and says that our motto as girls is going to be "Don't tell me what to do".)


Now for the scenes from The Holiday. I felt like auditions were a Kate Winslet moment for me and am so excited to continue to grow and learn through this entire process!

• GUMPTION!

•  A DOODLE PRODIGY. Oh I love Jack Black and Kate Winslet in this film. I also love this musical theme.

• BE THE LEADING LADY OF YOUR OWN LIFE!

Dates for Cabaret!

• As an FYI for anyone who may want to attend the show, performance dates are November 6th-9th in the evening (I think around 8pm). That's a Wednesday through Saturday in downtown DC. If you have any questions about tickets or the show, just let me know:)

"I decided that the most subversive, revolutionary thing I could do was to show up for my life and not be ashamed." ~ Anne Lamott.