Celebrate and Grow

This Thanksgiving was Mike's first holiday with my family in Virginia. Kim could not be there as she was visiting her boyfriend's family in Tennessee, but hopefully we will reconnect with her sometime before Christmas. My stepdad's daughter and her husband were visiting from Arizona with their two young daughters (they have one more kid on the way) and my mom's sister and her daughter came to visit too. My grandmother was there and my step-great-grandfather, Marvin, even stopped by on Thanksgiving Day with his daughter. Between all of us, we had ages 3 weeks to 92 present (kinda like "The Christmas Song" lyrics) and Marvin said a wonderful prayer of thanks before we ate. 

Mike and I managed to get a cold run in Thanskgiving morning before things got too crazy, but the rest of the day was spent lazing about socializing, watching football, and playing games. At some point, I may have insisted on a photoshoot. (Although, it was likely my mom or Courtney as they are even more fond of photoshoots than I am.)

My Mom & I

Mike & I

My cousin Kristin, Courtney, & I

I like how the blue light from the TV makes this pic look artsy. Courtney, Najeem, and Baby Ashton.

So thankful for this guy.

One of our most time-honored Thanksgiving traditions: Courtney cutting the cranberry sauce.  

Mike trying to convince my my stepdad's granddaughter that his games are fun.

Bonding over portable electronic devices.

Pepe: my favorite.

There is a story behind this picture that I will let Mike tell on his blog.

Mike and Baby Ashton.

 On the day after Thanksgiving, we were so fortunate to be able to meet up with Mike's mom and sister in town at a local restaurant for lunch. Mike and I will be headed down to North Carolina for Christmas, but it was nice to be able to see some of both of our families for the Thanksgiving holiday. Hopefully his sister Rachel will be able to make a trip up to DC before then too!

Good looks run in the family.

I am back in DC now resting from the holiday (sometimes that's necessary) and getting ready for a month full of traveling. Today, Mike and I helped Josh move to another apartment in the city and it was really kind of fun. You know you have great friends when moving is anything but a miserable experience.

I'm excited for all of the traveling and get togethers we have coming up (Williamsburg, Virginia again, North Carolina, DC, Southwestern Virginia), but am also (as I'm always concerned with this time of year) trying to find time to meditate on the reason for this season of celebration and giving. I'm trying to remember that the holidays are a hard time of the year for many many people. They still are for me sometimes, but I know there is so much I have that others do not. 

Advent starts tomorrow and it is always one of my favorite 'seasons' of the year because it tends to be the one where I am in the most spiritually reflective mood. The holidays, the end of the year coming up, my birthday in January...things begin to feel cold and dead outside and sometimes I have to really give myself a pep talk before walking out the door in the morning. But I'm grateful for this time. I'm glad to have this opportunity to reflect even when I don't know exactly what I'm yearning to reflect on. Yearning. Frustration. Impatience. Exhaustion. These feelings don't necessarily jive with the Christmas-obsessed person I become every December, but they are an undercurrent to the carols, the culture of consumption, the parties, the glitter, the candy, the sometimes saccharine sweetness of the season. That's why Christmas is sometimes bittersweet and I hope to appreciate both aspects of the season in the way Shauna Niequist puts it:

"When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. When life is bitter, say thank you and grow."

Bahston

This past weekend, Mike and I flew to Boston to meet up with Emily Goo and a group of people from DC. The purpose of the weekend was primarily to see Catching Fire in costume with Goo and to see her mom in The Mikado, but it also ended up being a celebration of Jeff's birthday, a celebration of Sara and Jeff's anniversary, a reunion with more friends of Mike's that I had never met before (of the Tragedy! variety), an opportunity to meet Mike's aunt and uncle near Kendall Square, and forcing Goo to introduce us to her childhood stomping grounds.

Things I learned over the course of not-even-48-hours in Boston:

• I actually don't like flying, but we flew back from Boston in only an hour so I want to go back and visit everyone!
• Wigs are pretty uncomfortable especially if you've never worn one before.
• I'm probably buying Catching Fire on DVD to watch again and again.
• I actually like real cannoli, but only the real kind with a soft pastry and plenty of ricotta-y filling. 
• Eggnog still tastes just as delicious before Thanksgiving.
• Being able to be weird for your friends for an entire weekend is such a gift.
• Ben is really good at photobombing.
• I don't know how to work really fancy dinners. (I have this intense urge to pretend I'm a food blogger and take pictures of everything because the dishes are so pretty, but apparently phones are not for fancy dinners...says Mike.)
• The cold wind of Boston is not a viable choice for air-drying your hair after a shower. Pack a blow-dryer.
• I love the Boston accent! I'm also pretty sure something like 50% of Bostonian males are named Mike.
• Concord is incredibly cute and is pronounced 'conquered' and not 'con-chord' says Emily Goo.
• I still ramble too much when meeting new people. Sorry Uncle Bob and Auntie Deb!:)

Now onto the pictures:

Effie Trinket and Caesar Flickerman. We were short on time and could not go full out because of the fancy dinner beforehand, but I'm so glad I captures a picture of us like this. It cracks me up.

Peeta, Jennifer Lawrence, and Katniss.

Sara was 'Johanna' and I love that color of wig on her! Nice photobomb, Ben.

Haymitch Abernathy. No one does 'drunk role' better than Josh.

I love their faces when I forced them to take a picture for me at the fancy restaurant:) L to R: Mike is pouting, Josh is smirking, Ben is like 'really?', Goo loves it, Jeff is pleased with his ostrich, Sara is judging me.

First trip on the "T" with our Charlie cards. 

Effie selfie. I want my flower headband to be seen!

What's planned for this weekend? Mike and I are headed to VA to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family and then helping a friend move on Saturday. Hopefully lots of rest somewhere in there. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

S'mores & Ashton

Last weekend, there was a reunion of sorts with the cabaret people. Still coming off our show high, we got together for a low-key evening of spiked cider and hot chocolate, Muppet Christmas Carol, s'mores, and sweets. Ben helped me get things together because Mike had to work late and Jeff and Sara were at a show that evening. We had a blast even if there were WAY too many people to sit comfortable and watch a movie together. We still made due:) Although, I wish we didn't have so many leftover marshmallows!

Charlie Brown Christmas tree that Mike ordered for me!

First tastings of the hot chocolate.

Daniel trying to eat a s'more without making a huge mess (impossible) and Xander looking on in horror.

The next day after I got done with Saturday office hours, Mike and I journeyed home to finally meet Baby Ashton. I know it may SEEM that I'd met him already with all of the pics of him I've been instagramming, but those were all stolen. By the way, the pic don't even do him justice. He is so cute! I wish you could see how strong he is when he wriggles and hear him sigh. He's really good at sighing. And super strong! And he looks kinda big and muscular, but he's small and oh so light. He definitely weighs less than Rupert does (how's that for a cat lady comparison?). Can we talk about what a miracle birth is? And breastfeeding? Okay, maybe let's not talk about it, but my mind is still blown when I think that my sister carried him for 9 months.

Baby Ashton sleeping.

First Redskins game.

Auntie and baby.

My mom crocheted both of us this William and Mary blanket. Mike has grown attached to it.

My mom crocheted Mike and me a blanket (it's William and Mary colors) and I wanted you guys to see it, but this is the only picture I have of it (sorry, Mike). Mike has been hogging it, so I might need to put in a request for my own:)

Sorry this post is mostly pictures, but it's probably a good change of pace from my normal blog posts:) In less than 15 minutes, I'm driving to the airport to go to Boston for the weekend with Josh, Emily Goo, Ben, Jeff, Sara, and Mike. We're going to see Catching Fire and Goo's mom in The Mikado and I can't wait to tell all of the inevitable stories I'll have when I get back to DC.

Have a safe and fun weekend!

Reflections on "Cabaret": Help, Thanks, Wow

Mike really outdid himself and has already posted TWO post-cabaret updates to his blog. I'm linking to them both here for your joy and amusement.

I'm also linking to a huge album of pictures online because I'm too lazy at this point to go through all of them. Maybe I will later. http://jonathanzucker.smugmug.com/GGnSS/2013-Cabaret/2013-Cabaret-DR2-Unculled/33336660_Qn2BxM#!i=2894765044&k=ZwgMB4H

I've formatted this blog into what Anne Lamott says are the three essential prayers: Help. Thanks. Wow. Whether audible or not, these are the prayers I was praying this past week.

HELP

“If I were going to begin practicing the presence of God for the first time today, it would help to begin by admitting the three most terrible truths of our existence: that we are so ruined, and so loved, and in charge of so little.”  -Anne Lamott

It has taken me long to gather my thoughts, mostly because I was incredibly exhausted after the show ended, emotionally and physically. We had strike on the Sunday after the show which is basically manual labor for 8 hours for your show friends, though we managed to have eating breaks at Wise Guys AND Five Guys (the best unhealthy food ever).

I had to work the Monday after strike so basically I had no break until yesterday when I stayed home at work due to being sick. I guess my body mandated rest.

Backtrack to show week. Monday and Tuesday were full dress rehearsals (basically shows) and Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were our performance nights. Mike and I attended all shows and all parties because...who knows when we might ever have an opportunity like this again? Also: I'm way too hyped up after a show to immediately go to bed.

I believe Friday was my best performance, but there was really not a less than awesome night to see the show, which is saying a lot. Normally there is one less than stellar night. I give a lot of this credit to our audience and all of the wonderful people who came to cheer us on as well as Backstreet Boys and Ke$ha sing-alongs backstage that helped pump us up pre-show.

Leading up to and during show week, "Help" was the prayer I prayed the most. Specifically, I wanted help not throwing up on stage, I wanted help dealing with my nerves, I wanted help for other people. More generally, I just knew that I couldn't do it alone. I didn't have the energy. I was tired. I was hungry. I was so so so nervous. And help came in the form of perspective and an overwhelming feeling of support from loved ones. Which brings me to....

THANKS

“Love falls to earth, rises from the ground, pools around the afflicted. Love pulls people back to their feet. Bodies and souls are fed. Bones and lives heal. New blades of grass grow from charred soil. The sun rises.” - Anne Lamott

Special special amazing shout-out to: 4 of my co-workers coming to see the show (1 of them came twice!), to Mike's friend Rachael for bringing 3 friends with her and also giving us flowers and  pineapple after the show, to Mike's mom and grandma Frances for being adorable audience members, to Emily Goo for being herself all 3 nights she attended the show and being our unofficial MVP of audience members, to Kelly and Alex for the hugs and chocolate and making me feel like I was indeed 'legit', to my sister Kim and her boyfriend Paul for driving all the way from West Virginia to see me in a show, for Mike's grandparents Ween and Daddy Jim for driving up from NC to be in our cheering section, for Megan/Lauren/Jenny (my best friends from high school) carpooling up together to see me even though I regretfully couldn't hang out with them during the show (Friday night, they were the first people I noticed during Willkommen, in the very front row, and I loved it), Mike's entire Street Law team and especially to the guy who asked me if Mike ever kisses me how [he kisses Schenider on stage] and, when I replied no, proceeded to tell Mike that he had better start doing that, to David Husband and Shannan for surprising us and for David's laugh being so recognizable, to Pete for showing us some post-show love, to Lee and his wife for coming up and recognizing me even though I had never met them before, and to Paul Klingenberg for giving me a pre-show pep talk that consisted of "you have to love being naughty". Finally, my sister Courtney and her boyfriend Najeem drove up the Saturday night to see the show (is everyone aware that Courtney had just given birth that Monday and gotten released from the hospital on Wednesday?....expect an Ashton post coming soon). I can't explain how much that meant to me. She also had to leave shortly after intermission because apparently Ashton eats everything and was getting close to finishing the milk she had left him, but wow. So thankful for everyone who was able to make it and also those who regretted not being able to. The DVD should be out soon!

WOW

“What can we say beyond Wow, in the presence of glorious art, in music so magnificent that it can't have originated solely on this side of things? Wonder takes our breath away, and makes room for new breath.” -Anne Lamott

Over the course of two months, I have fallen in love with the team of a cast we had for Cabaret. Is this how shows always are? Because this is how they get you hooked. This being my first show, it's hard to compare, but I definitely think we had something extremely special together as a team that only comes around very rarely.

This feeling has become even more pronounced in the past week. Post-show nostalgia and remorse? I've not felt it at all. Fine, maybe a little bit when I find myself being way more productive with MORE time to do things. But we already have out first cast reunion planned this Friday evening. It started out as a #lowkey affair because don't people need a break from each other? The answer is apparently no. The event has grown from a viewing of Muppet Christmas Carol and hot chocolate to a giant Christmas party of almost everyone involved in the show and a smorgasbord of Christma treats that Buddy the Elf would approve of. Josh has apologized to me numerous times because I have to work at 8am on Saturday morning, but I could care less. I'm too busy wow-ing and being in awe of these people I did not know 2 months ago, but who now hold such special places in my heart. I keep asking myself: "Is this how it's supposed to be? Is it all going to last?", but I'm too busy wow-ing. The past week for me could have been a sad and nostalgic return to my day job, but apparently we're all on the same page in thinking 'it would not be better simply to go on as before'. So, wow, cabaret cast, Wow. I can't wait to see you all on Friday and to keep getting to know you all better.

Update

Halloween

Last weekend (the one before this past one) Mike was out of town at a mock trial tournament being an all star so I took Ben as my date to the cast Halloween party. He was Doctor Who (specifically the Matt Smith version) and I was Amelia Pond. I don't have red hair so Ben was basically our costume. 

Ben, Justine, and I

Doctor Who and Amelia Pond

More show people

Zoolander & I

Person Date

The same weekend Mike was out of town, Kelly and I had a person date of shopping downtown followed by dinner at Bistro D'Oc. Whereas Mike and I ALWAYS order separate things when we go out to eat to maximize our ability to try different dishes, Kelly and I often order the same thing because that's how we are. Twins. We got the caesar salad and french onion soup with a glass of chardonnay. The easiest patrons ever. Also, it may not sound like much, but I assure you the french onion soup is to die for and if you're addicted to REAL caesar salads like I am, it is not one to pass up. 

Our table

Baby Ashton

As I write this blog post, my sister is currently in labor and I'm being texted a play-by-play from my mom. Courtney found out last week she was going to be induced this Monday because she had started dilating and apparently she is progressing very quickly. JUST YESTERDAY she drove into DC to pick up one of the father's sister from the train station and then walked around to the monuments a little. I've been so incredibly in awe of her throughout the entire pregnancy and I can't wait to see my new nephew! I may try to run home on Saturday before the evening show to see him. Big week around here.

Show Week!

It's the Monday of show week which means a dress rehearsal tonight and tomorrow, then 4 nights of shows. Then we're done. I've already started to get a little sad about it being over. Only 6 times of doing the show before we're done?! It seems a little unfair, but I know I will probably be exhausted and ready to be done when the week is over. We have been so crazy busy and had no free time at all (which, frankly, I had missed being this busy since grad school ended). I'm trying to remain mindful throughout this week and appreciate my time being on the stage. I always remember myself being someone to shy away from the spotlight so I don't really know if I'll ever get this chance to be in it again. I want to remember everything about this experience and really feel comfortable being seen, being loud, being heard, performing. 

Everything is finally starting to come together. We have transitions mapped, costumes were debuted last night, and lights are in place. There are still a lot of little things that we haven't figured out, though, and this being my first show, it feels really scary. Apparently, this always happens. You always feel like it will never come together and then it does. But I just don't have my own experience to trust. I will trust Mike and Josh, though. They have down enough shows and Josh sent me this quote from Shakespeare in Love this morning:

Philip Henslowe: Mr. Fennyman, allow me to explain about the theatre business. The natural condition is one of insurmountable obstacles on the road to imminent disaster.
Hugh Fennyman: So what do we do?
Philip Henslowe: Nothing. Strangely enough, it all turns out well.
Hugh Fennyman: How?
Philip Henslowe: I don't know. It's a mystery.

So, I will trust the process and the team. And I will trust myself. I learned a few days ago that three of my closest friends from high school (although we live further apart now and it's harder to see each other regularly) are carpooling in to see the show together. My sister is also driving in from West Virginia with her boyfriend which is so far away and then they are driving all the way back to Virginia that night. I have lots of coworkers who are coming and Mike's family and I'm just really excited to have this shared experience with all of them.

Besides all of the feelings, this week will also involve lots of caffeine, lots of nerves, lots of makeup and damage to my hair, and not a lot of sleep. But, bring it on:)