Countdown to 2014

I owe you all a Christmas recap. I'm sure I'll get around to that once I catch my breath...maybe Wednesday. Right now i have more pressing thoughts and not a lot of time to reflect on December. Is it really almost January? How did that happen? I'm currently at the gym, blogging on my phone, and in a few hours I'll be leaving for a few days in the mountains of Va reuniting with college friends (as is traditions every New Years Eve). You may remember (if you know the story) that Mike and I met December 30, 2011 while I was on one of the annual reunion trips in DC. Last year was his first official year coming on the annual trip and the time turned into an unofficial anniversary celebration of sorts. It hard not to reminisce about our story because it is a great one and involved a lot of wingmanning. (I shared the story with Mike's mom and sister this weekend and I'm glad they think it is as hilarious as I do.)

This year Mike cannot make it. He will fill you all in on his blog whenever he gets a chance which may take a while. Basically, more roadblocks were hit in the medical clearance process with Jag and  as sort of a last option, he is getting surgery on his ear on Dec. 31st. He was very fortunate his doctor (and very experienced  surgeon) ended up having an opening. The next available date was late January and these things are very time-sensitive given that he will have to wait a pre-determined amount of time post-surgery before reconsideration and the likelihood of other job offers arising during that time. It was a very very complicated an difficult decision to continue to pursue something that has been such a trying process for us both, but especially him. Anyway, he has a friend to drive him back from surgery and I will return on the 1st.

This brings me to a list of things I am looking forward to in 2014:

• Healthy ossicles! (the small misplaced bones in Mike's ear that will be fixed through his surgery)
• Starting a new job! (Oh, right, I haven't had time to mention anywhere that I am starting a new position with an organization whose mission I'm passionate about and I believe the work will be fulfilling as well as help support me in my professional goals. I start on January 13th. It's so difficult to process right now in the midst of traveling 24/7, but hope to have another post on that soon. But, I'm incredibly excited!)
• Disney! (Seeing Frozen in theaters got me even more excited to take this trip with Mike, Absi, Zan, Brian, and Kay; and I got the trip cleared with my new job!)
• Seeing Book of Mormon in February with Mike and his mom! (I've been playing the soundtrack on repeat already.)
• I'm turning 27 on January 4th!
• Mike's done with law school! (And takes the bar and hopefully becomes a legit lawyer!)
• 10-mile race!
• Reading tons of books that I've bought recently:)
• Allie (the kitten) hopefully growing out of her kitten phase where she eats everything (including toilet paper.)
• Seeing Ashton turn 1!

There's so much to look forward to and I'm so excited for 2014 to get here. I have a feeling it's going to be a great year.

Quote of the Day

“I naively believe that self-love is 80 percent of the solution, that it helps beyond words to take yourself through the day as you would with your most beloved mental-patient relative, with great humor and lots of small treats.”

― Anne Lamott

http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/577984-i-naively-believe-that-self-love-is-80-percent-of-the

Hope you find a way to fit some humor, treats, and self-love into this week!

Loving Lately

• Coconut Oil
• Mike makes fun of all of the uses I find for coconut oil and the fact that I bought some in an almost-gallon-sized tub for costco, but I just ran out of eye makeup remover and started using coconut oil (because Pinterest says it can do that too) and it works just as well! I also stirfry veggies in coconut oil with parmesan cheese and pepper to give them a sweeter flavor and it's really good to use instead of non-stick spray for pancakes!
• Molasses
• Another thing Mike makes fun of me for. I like to mix some molasses in with my conditioner because it makes my hair super soft. And I also love it in baking! I once sent Mike to a store to pick up some molasses for me and he was trying to explain what it was to the attendant helping him. He said "it can be used as a conditioner for your hair..." and so was sent to the shampoo aisle haha.
• Cinnamon
• I put it in coffee, on oatmeal, in hot chocolate, and in my tea. I can't get enough of it this time of year.
• Scandal
• I'd heard a good amount about this show from coworkers and in blogs and have been meaning to give it a try ever since it appeared on Netflix. Mike and I started it this past weekend and are already 6 shows away from being done with Season 2! SO addictive! I (obviously) am obsessed with Olivia Pope's (Kerry Washington) wardrobe, the DC setting, and the blend of emotional vulnerability and terrifying strength that Kerry Washington is able to portray in her character. The women in this show are really good! The male characters have a lot of flaws, but you still like them. A lot of complicated, addictive characters.
• Google Maps for iPhone
• I feel like every other day I learn something incredible that I can do with technology that makes my life so much easier. I've recently learned how to get my Google Maps GPS on my iphone to talk to me and also to choose the easiest route for me to get somewhere. This seems simple, but up until recently, my iMaps software was the default on my iPhone. After Google Maps saved us hours of sitting on 66 on the way home for Thanksgiving, I've been using it ever since and I'm never going back!
• Wunderlist
• After Teuxdeux (my old to-do list app) tried to start charging me for services because my 'free trial' was over, I switched to Wunderlist. I like it so much more! I can't function without my lists, but this helps me to keep things organized, at least a little.
• WalMart
• There is a lot of controversy in the city over DC's two new WalMarts, specifically concerning minimum wage for its workers. One is a few blocks from Mike's law school and I didn't know what a WalMart would be like in the city (how it would function with traffic, etc.) so I decided to go exploring one day when I needed to buy a few items quickly. When I went, it was the first day of their Grand Opening and everyone was super nice. I almost could not actually believe the prices I was seeing. (They are comparable to my WalMart at home and that is the cheapest place to buy things at home.) I felt the sudden urge to buy everything, but then felt silly. I know there is a lot of debate about the store and whether it is in the best interest of the city and people who work there, but in a city where it's so expensive to live, it was nice to see affordable prices on food, clothes, etc.

Wal-Mart

You can kind of see the sign here. It looks so odd on a city block.

• Kittens
• "Alley" is Sara and Jeff's cat and a new addition to the house. I had forgotten how high maintenance kittens are, but she is delightful and keeps you on your toes. Today, she found a stash of toilet paper in the closet. When I found her, there were only shreds of paper left as evidence. That paper roll never stood a chance.

Alley and Mike bonding.

• Snow!
• Today was my first official snow day! I got to stay home from work, clean, bake, and catch up on some emails. (Recipe for insanely good cookies I baked are below.)

DC's first snow!

• Baking (where I act out my obsession with molasses and cinnamon)
• I haven't actually eaten these cookies yet because they are for our office potluck tomorrow, but I had some of the batter and I did consider keeping them for a second and telling people at work something had gone horribly wrong. But these cookies are actually so terribly right: http://www.ambitiouskitchen.com/2013/10/brown-butter-chewy-ginger-oatmeal-cookies/
• This cake is another staple for me during the holidays. I brought it home for Thanksgiving this year: http://ohsheglows.com/2010/10/02/pumpkin-gingerbread-with-spiced-buttercream/
• And this is what I ate for breakfast this morning: http://nakedveglunch.blogspot.com/2012/10/holy-pie-pumpkin-pie-oatmeal.html

Mike and I get to go to our second Shakespeare Theatre Company show tomorrow night. Then it's Williamsburg this weekend, seeing my family once more the following weekend, and then down to North Carolina for Christmas with Mike's family! So excited!

25 Days of Advent

I came across this blog post on Raptitude and really loved it. In many ways, it's a critique on traditional gift-giving, but I also see it as a challenge to give meaningful gifts. I never want to receive a gift that I won't use and I never want to give a gift that won't be used. Sometimes that's inevitable. But sustainable gift-giving is nice to think about and an ideal to aspire to.

http://www.raptitude.com/2013/12/what-to-get-everyone-for-christmas/

Thinking about gift-giving, I've really had it on my heart to do try to give back to my community this season. I don't go to church regularly (still searching for a congregation 'home' that I would feel comfortable in), but I still want to be intentional about using this season to reflect on how incredibly blessed I am and how, out of this blessing, I can give back to others.

I decided that I would try to do one thing a day that was reaching out to other people or giving back to the community. (I also asked Mike to participate with me so that we could try to remind each other to be mindful during the month.) I'm not going to share all that I've done so far because a lot of it is personal (reaching out to friends or family members who I haven't talked to in a while), but I will try to share the things that are community-based. 

Here are some things I want to do:

Donating food: My gym is doing a food drive so I'm going to get together some canned goods for that.
Donating clothing: ?
Donating books: ?
Donating coats: This weekend a cub scout group is doing an outerwear drive near Eastern Market so I'm going to take some clothes to that.
Donating time: Trying to fit some volunteer shifts for various organizations in my schedule.
Sponsor a child or family's Christmas gifts or Christmas dinner.

Here are some more general ideas for random acts of kindness:

• Give someone a nice compliment they wouldn’t normally expect.
• Buy lunch/coffee for someone.
• Go out of your way to “help” someone in need.
• Clean a mess that you didn’t make.
• Write a thank you note to someone who has helped you recently.
• Spend technology-free time with someone.
• Apologize to someone.
• Volunteer at an animal shelter or donate to an animal shelter.
• Do a chore around the house that no one has asked you to do, but that needs to be done!
• Call one of your grandparents on the phone.
• Tell someone you love one reason why you love them.
• Research a charity you can either donate money to or support through a future event (like a “fun run” or soup kitchen). Put it on the calendar and commit to it.
• Reach out to someone you haven't talked to in a while.

I like the C.S. Lewis quote below about giving. It reminds me that, even with all of the overwhelming Black Friday and Cyber Monday marketing messages that tell us to BUYBUYBUY, giving and sharing are so much more fulfilling.

“I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare. In other words, if our expenditure on comforts, luxuries, amusements, etc, is up to the standard common among those with the same income as our own, we are probably giving away too little. If our charities do not at all pinch or hamper us, I should say they are too small. There ought to be things we should like to do and cannot do because our charitable expenditure excludes them.”

― C.S. Lewis

Celebrate and Grow

This Thanksgiving was Mike's first holiday with my family in Virginia. Kim could not be there as she was visiting her boyfriend's family in Tennessee, but hopefully we will reconnect with her sometime before Christmas. My stepdad's daughter and her husband were visiting from Arizona with their two young daughters (they have one more kid on the way) and my mom's sister and her daughter came to visit too. My grandmother was there and my step-great-grandfather, Marvin, even stopped by on Thanksgiving Day with his daughter. Between all of us, we had ages 3 weeks to 92 present (kinda like "The Christmas Song" lyrics) and Marvin said a wonderful prayer of thanks before we ate. 

Mike and I managed to get a cold run in Thanskgiving morning before things got too crazy, but the rest of the day was spent lazing about socializing, watching football, and playing games. At some point, I may have insisted on a photoshoot. (Although, it was likely my mom or Courtney as they are even more fond of photoshoots than I am.)

My Mom & I

Mike & I

My cousin Kristin, Courtney, & I

I like how the blue light from the TV makes this pic look artsy. Courtney, Najeem, and Baby Ashton.

So thankful for this guy.

One of our most time-honored Thanksgiving traditions: Courtney cutting the cranberry sauce.  

Mike trying to convince my my stepdad's granddaughter that his games are fun.

Bonding over portable electronic devices.

Pepe: my favorite.

There is a story behind this picture that I will let Mike tell on his blog.

Mike and Baby Ashton.

 On the day after Thanksgiving, we were so fortunate to be able to meet up with Mike's mom and sister in town at a local restaurant for lunch. Mike and I will be headed down to North Carolina for Christmas, but it was nice to be able to see some of both of our families for the Thanksgiving holiday. Hopefully his sister Rachel will be able to make a trip up to DC before then too!

Good looks run in the family.

I am back in DC now resting from the holiday (sometimes that's necessary) and getting ready for a month full of traveling. Today, Mike and I helped Josh move to another apartment in the city and it was really kind of fun. You know you have great friends when moving is anything but a miserable experience.

I'm excited for all of the traveling and get togethers we have coming up (Williamsburg, Virginia again, North Carolina, DC, Southwestern Virginia), but am also (as I'm always concerned with this time of year) trying to find time to meditate on the reason for this season of celebration and giving. I'm trying to remember that the holidays are a hard time of the year for many many people. They still are for me sometimes, but I know there is so much I have that others do not. 

Advent starts tomorrow and it is always one of my favorite 'seasons' of the year because it tends to be the one where I am in the most spiritually reflective mood. The holidays, the end of the year coming up, my birthday in January...things begin to feel cold and dead outside and sometimes I have to really give myself a pep talk before walking out the door in the morning. But I'm grateful for this time. I'm glad to have this opportunity to reflect even when I don't know exactly what I'm yearning to reflect on. Yearning. Frustration. Impatience. Exhaustion. These feelings don't necessarily jive with the Christmas-obsessed person I become every December, but they are an undercurrent to the carols, the culture of consumption, the parties, the glitter, the candy, the sometimes saccharine sweetness of the season. That's why Christmas is sometimes bittersweet and I hope to appreciate both aspects of the season in the way Shauna Niequist puts it:

"When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. When life is bitter, say thank you and grow."

Bahston

This past weekend, Mike and I flew to Boston to meet up with Emily Goo and a group of people from DC. The purpose of the weekend was primarily to see Catching Fire in costume with Goo and to see her mom in The Mikado, but it also ended up being a celebration of Jeff's birthday, a celebration of Sara and Jeff's anniversary, a reunion with more friends of Mike's that I had never met before (of the Tragedy! variety), an opportunity to meet Mike's aunt and uncle near Kendall Square, and forcing Goo to introduce us to her childhood stomping grounds.

Things I learned over the course of not-even-48-hours in Boston:

• I actually don't like flying, but we flew back from Boston in only an hour so I want to go back and visit everyone!
• Wigs are pretty uncomfortable especially if you've never worn one before.
• I'm probably buying Catching Fire on DVD to watch again and again.
• I actually like real cannoli, but only the real kind with a soft pastry and plenty of ricotta-y filling. 
• Eggnog still tastes just as delicious before Thanksgiving.
• Being able to be weird for your friends for an entire weekend is such a gift.
• Ben is really good at photobombing.
• I don't know how to work really fancy dinners. (I have this intense urge to pretend I'm a food blogger and take pictures of everything because the dishes are so pretty, but apparently phones are not for fancy dinners...says Mike.)
• The cold wind of Boston is not a viable choice for air-drying your hair after a shower. Pack a blow-dryer.
• I love the Boston accent! I'm also pretty sure something like 50% of Bostonian males are named Mike.
• Concord is incredibly cute and is pronounced 'conquered' and not 'con-chord' says Emily Goo.
• I still ramble too much when meeting new people. Sorry Uncle Bob and Auntie Deb!:)

Now onto the pictures:

Effie Trinket and Caesar Flickerman. We were short on time and could not go full out because of the fancy dinner beforehand, but I'm so glad I captures a picture of us like this. It cracks me up.

Peeta, Jennifer Lawrence, and Katniss.

Sara was 'Johanna' and I love that color of wig on her! Nice photobomb, Ben.

Haymitch Abernathy. No one does 'drunk role' better than Josh.

I love their faces when I forced them to take a picture for me at the fancy restaurant:) L to R: Mike is pouting, Josh is smirking, Ben is like 'really?', Goo loves it, Jeff is pleased with his ostrich, Sara is judging me.

First trip on the "T" with our Charlie cards. 

Effie selfie. I want my flower headband to be seen!

What's planned for this weekend? Mike and I are headed to VA to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family and then helping a friend move on Saturday. Hopefully lots of rest somewhere in there. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

S'mores & Ashton

Last weekend, there was a reunion of sorts with the cabaret people. Still coming off our show high, we got together for a low-key evening of spiked cider and hot chocolate, Muppet Christmas Carol, s'mores, and sweets. Ben helped me get things together because Mike had to work late and Jeff and Sara were at a show that evening. We had a blast even if there were WAY too many people to sit comfortable and watch a movie together. We still made due:) Although, I wish we didn't have so many leftover marshmallows!

Charlie Brown Christmas tree that Mike ordered for me!

First tastings of the hot chocolate.

Daniel trying to eat a s'more without making a huge mess (impossible) and Xander looking on in horror.

The next day after I got done with Saturday office hours, Mike and I journeyed home to finally meet Baby Ashton. I know it may SEEM that I'd met him already with all of the pics of him I've been instagramming, but those were all stolen. By the way, the pic don't even do him justice. He is so cute! I wish you could see how strong he is when he wriggles and hear him sigh. He's really good at sighing. And super strong! And he looks kinda big and muscular, but he's small and oh so light. He definitely weighs less than Rupert does (how's that for a cat lady comparison?). Can we talk about what a miracle birth is? And breastfeeding? Okay, maybe let's not talk about it, but my mind is still blown when I think that my sister carried him for 9 months.

Baby Ashton sleeping.

First Redskins game.

Auntie and baby.

My mom crocheted both of us this William and Mary blanket. Mike has grown attached to it.

My mom crocheted Mike and me a blanket (it's William and Mary colors) and I wanted you guys to see it, but this is the only picture I have of it (sorry, Mike). Mike has been hogging it, so I might need to put in a request for my own:)

Sorry this post is mostly pictures, but it's probably a good change of pace from my normal blog posts:) In less than 15 minutes, I'm driving to the airport to go to Boston for the weekend with Josh, Emily Goo, Ben, Jeff, Sara, and Mike. We're going to see Catching Fire and Goo's mom in The Mikado and I can't wait to tell all of the inevitable stories I'll have when I get back to DC.

Have a safe and fun weekend!

Reflections on "Cabaret": Help, Thanks, Wow

Mike really outdid himself and has already posted TWO post-cabaret updates to his blog. I'm linking to them both here for your joy and amusement.

I'm also linking to a huge album of pictures online because I'm too lazy at this point to go through all of them. Maybe I will later. http://jonathanzucker.smugmug.com/GGnSS/2013-Cabaret/2013-Cabaret-DR2-Unculled/33336660_Qn2BxM#!i=2894765044&k=ZwgMB4H

I've formatted this blog into what Anne Lamott says are the three essential prayers: Help. Thanks. Wow. Whether audible or not, these are the prayers I was praying this past week.

HELP

“If I were going to begin practicing the presence of God for the first time today, it would help to begin by admitting the three most terrible truths of our existence: that we are so ruined, and so loved, and in charge of so little.”  -Anne Lamott

It has taken me long to gather my thoughts, mostly because I was incredibly exhausted after the show ended, emotionally and physically. We had strike on the Sunday after the show which is basically manual labor for 8 hours for your show friends, though we managed to have eating breaks at Wise Guys AND Five Guys (the best unhealthy food ever).

I had to work the Monday after strike so basically I had no break until yesterday when I stayed home at work due to being sick. I guess my body mandated rest.

Backtrack to show week. Monday and Tuesday were full dress rehearsals (basically shows) and Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were our performance nights. Mike and I attended all shows and all parties because...who knows when we might ever have an opportunity like this again? Also: I'm way too hyped up after a show to immediately go to bed.

I believe Friday was my best performance, but there was really not a less than awesome night to see the show, which is saying a lot. Normally there is one less than stellar night. I give a lot of this credit to our audience and all of the wonderful people who came to cheer us on as well as Backstreet Boys and Ke$ha sing-alongs backstage that helped pump us up pre-show.

Leading up to and during show week, "Help" was the prayer I prayed the most. Specifically, I wanted help not throwing up on stage, I wanted help dealing with my nerves, I wanted help for other people. More generally, I just knew that I couldn't do it alone. I didn't have the energy. I was tired. I was hungry. I was so so so nervous. And help came in the form of perspective and an overwhelming feeling of support from loved ones. Which brings me to....

THANKS

“Love falls to earth, rises from the ground, pools around the afflicted. Love pulls people back to their feet. Bodies and souls are fed. Bones and lives heal. New blades of grass grow from charred soil. The sun rises.” - Anne Lamott

Special special amazing shout-out to: 4 of my co-workers coming to see the show (1 of them came twice!), to Mike's friend Rachael for bringing 3 friends with her and also giving us flowers and  pineapple after the show, to Mike's mom and grandma Frances for being adorable audience members, to Emily Goo for being herself all 3 nights she attended the show and being our unofficial MVP of audience members, to Kelly and Alex for the hugs and chocolate and making me feel like I was indeed 'legit', to my sister Kim and her boyfriend Paul for driving all the way from West Virginia to see me in a show, for Mike's grandparents Ween and Daddy Jim for driving up from NC to be in our cheering section, for Megan/Lauren/Jenny (my best friends from high school) carpooling up together to see me even though I regretfully couldn't hang out with them during the show (Friday night, they were the first people I noticed during Willkommen, in the very front row, and I loved it), Mike's entire Street Law team and especially to the guy who asked me if Mike ever kisses me how [he kisses Schenider on stage] and, when I replied no, proceeded to tell Mike that he had better start doing that, to David Husband and Shannan for surprising us and for David's laugh being so recognizable, to Pete for showing us some post-show love, to Lee and his wife for coming up and recognizing me even though I had never met them before, and to Paul Klingenberg for giving me a pre-show pep talk that consisted of "you have to love being naughty". Finally, my sister Courtney and her boyfriend Najeem drove up the Saturday night to see the show (is everyone aware that Courtney had just given birth that Monday and gotten released from the hospital on Wednesday?....expect an Ashton post coming soon). I can't explain how much that meant to me. She also had to leave shortly after intermission because apparently Ashton eats everything and was getting close to finishing the milk she had left him, but wow. So thankful for everyone who was able to make it and also those who regretted not being able to. The DVD should be out soon!

WOW

“What can we say beyond Wow, in the presence of glorious art, in music so magnificent that it can't have originated solely on this side of things? Wonder takes our breath away, and makes room for new breath.” -Anne Lamott

Over the course of two months, I have fallen in love with the team of a cast we had for Cabaret. Is this how shows always are? Because this is how they get you hooked. This being my first show, it's hard to compare, but I definitely think we had something extremely special together as a team that only comes around very rarely.

This feeling has become even more pronounced in the past week. Post-show nostalgia and remorse? I've not felt it at all. Fine, maybe a little bit when I find myself being way more productive with MORE time to do things. But we already have out first cast reunion planned this Friday evening. It started out as a #lowkey affair because don't people need a break from each other? The answer is apparently no. The event has grown from a viewing of Muppet Christmas Carol and hot chocolate to a giant Christmas party of almost everyone involved in the show and a smorgasbord of Christma treats that Buddy the Elf would approve of. Josh has apologized to me numerous times because I have to work at 8am on Saturday morning, but I could care less. I'm too busy wow-ing and being in awe of these people I did not know 2 months ago, but who now hold such special places in my heart. I keep asking myself: "Is this how it's supposed to be? Is it all going to last?", but I'm too busy wow-ing. The past week for me could have been a sad and nostalgic return to my day job, but apparently we're all on the same page in thinking 'it would not be better simply to go on as before'. So, wow, cabaret cast, Wow. I can't wait to see you all on Friday and to keep getting to know you all better.

Update

Halloween

Last weekend (the one before this past one) Mike was out of town at a mock trial tournament being an all star so I took Ben as my date to the cast Halloween party. He was Doctor Who (specifically the Matt Smith version) and I was Amelia Pond. I don't have red hair so Ben was basically our costume. 

Ben, Justine, and I

Doctor Who and Amelia Pond

More show people

Zoolander & I

Person Date

The same weekend Mike was out of town, Kelly and I had a person date of shopping downtown followed by dinner at Bistro D'Oc. Whereas Mike and I ALWAYS order separate things when we go out to eat to maximize our ability to try different dishes, Kelly and I often order the same thing because that's how we are. Twins. We got the caesar salad and french onion soup with a glass of chardonnay. The easiest patrons ever. Also, it may not sound like much, but I assure you the french onion soup is to die for and if you're addicted to REAL caesar salads like I am, it is not one to pass up. 

Our table

Baby Ashton

As I write this blog post, my sister is currently in labor and I'm being texted a play-by-play from my mom. Courtney found out last week she was going to be induced this Monday because she had started dilating and apparently she is progressing very quickly. JUST YESTERDAY she drove into DC to pick up one of the father's sister from the train station and then walked around to the monuments a little. I've been so incredibly in awe of her throughout the entire pregnancy and I can't wait to see my new nephew! I may try to run home on Saturday before the evening show to see him. Big week around here.

Show Week!

It's the Monday of show week which means a dress rehearsal tonight and tomorrow, then 4 nights of shows. Then we're done. I've already started to get a little sad about it being over. Only 6 times of doing the show before we're done?! It seems a little unfair, but I know I will probably be exhausted and ready to be done when the week is over. We have been so crazy busy and had no free time at all (which, frankly, I had missed being this busy since grad school ended). I'm trying to remain mindful throughout this week and appreciate my time being on the stage. I always remember myself being someone to shy away from the spotlight so I don't really know if I'll ever get this chance to be in it again. I want to remember everything about this experience and really feel comfortable being seen, being loud, being heard, performing. 

Everything is finally starting to come together. We have transitions mapped, costumes were debuted last night, and lights are in place. There are still a lot of little things that we haven't figured out, though, and this being my first show, it feels really scary. Apparently, this always happens. You always feel like it will never come together and then it does. But I just don't have my own experience to trust. I will trust Mike and Josh, though. They have down enough shows and Josh sent me this quote from Shakespeare in Love this morning:

Philip Henslowe: Mr. Fennyman, allow me to explain about the theatre business. The natural condition is one of insurmountable obstacles on the road to imminent disaster.
Hugh Fennyman: So what do we do?
Philip Henslowe: Nothing. Strangely enough, it all turns out well.
Hugh Fennyman: How?
Philip Henslowe: I don't know. It's a mystery.

So, I will trust the process and the team. And I will trust myself. I learned a few days ago that three of my closest friends from high school (although we live further apart now and it's harder to see each other regularly) are carpooling in to see the show together. My sister is also driving in from West Virginia with her boyfriend which is so far away and then they are driving all the way back to Virginia that night. I have lots of coworkers who are coming and Mike's family and I'm just really excited to have this shared experience with all of them.

Besides all of the feelings, this week will also involve lots of caffeine, lots of nerves, lots of makeup and damage to my hair, and not a lot of sleep. But, bring it on:)

Lately

We are about 2 and a half weeks away from the show. My weeks have consisted of work and rehearsals and my weekends consisted of a weekly cast party and building the set. I value sleep more than almost any other thing at this point. Sleep and protein....because I've been dancing a lot and also trying to keep up my bodypump routine. I've been told that tomorrow evening is our last off until after the show ends so I stocked up on vitamins, meds, and quick meals at Costco the other day. There has been no time to cook and I'd like to stop eating out. Briefly, here's what else I've been up to/have been able to fit into the schedule!

• The Shakespeare Theatre Company!
• Mike bought us a subscription to The Shakespeare Theatre Company's 2013-2014 season! The subscription makes the cost per ticket about $18/person (for 6 shows) which is an amazing deal considering the production quality of the shows. Such a deal and experience! I didn't even care that I wasn't into Shakespeare that much! (They actually do shows that aren't Shakespeare too.) Although I do like the stories, I've never been a fan of the Shakespearean English. Mike swore to me that if I didn't like the way this company did Shakespeare, then he would leave it alone. First for the season was Measure for Measure. They set the show in late 1920s/early 1930s which is coincidentally THE EXACT TIME PERIOD Cabaret is set in. Although I still had some trouble understanding the dialogue, the show was amazing and thought-provoking. I can't wait for the rest of the season!
• Fave Quote: "I am a kind of burr; I shall stick."
• Sriracha
• Do yourself a favor. Buy this and put it on everything ESPECIALLY lasagna, pizza (from Wise Guys if you're awesome), burgers, italian, etc.....It's hard to go wrong. MJ and I have a secret stash of the stuff, but I'm contemplating getting my own for work.
• Parks and Rec
• There are new episodes on Netflix which I may have spoiled for Zan and Absi at Absi's "Halloweentown" party, but I still think they'll enjoy it! (Side note: If you don't know what Halloweentown is, I just can't help you.)
• Family group texting
• Court's pregnancy has made group texting the favorite mode of communication in my family. She is now in her final month so Court likes to send pictures of her growing belly every couple of days with a caption that says something akin to "When does it stop? It can't get bigger" and "Can't sleep, too large"...She also sends pictures of pretty much everything she's bought for Ashton. I love this play by play because it lets me feel like we're all experiencing this together.
• Protein/Veggies
• I know the emergence of Fall is normally my cue to eat every pumpkin flavored thing in sight and to fall in love with cappuccinos and nutella lattes all over again, but this Fall is a bit different. TJ's, the mecca of Fall-themed goodies, is now further away than Costco, where I only have to say no to the 2 gallon pack of vanilla ice cream and a a 5lb bag of chocolate chips. It was very sad having to leave the store without these last time, but for the best. With all of the dancing and late nights we've had, it's become even more important to eat healthy or your body starts to rebel. Mike and I both turn into awkward zombies when we haven't been sleeping well. It's also flu season. Plus, we have about 3 more weeks of rehearsals and tech every. single. day so I figure we can use all the sleep, vitamins, veggies, water, and protein we can get.
•  Playing Dress Up
• I've been enjoying the new cool weather with tights, boots, and coats, but I've also enjoyed dressing up for the cast parties every weekend. I love fall fashion, but between professional clothes and workout clothes, I don't get to experiment with a lot. At least with the parties, I have an excuse to wear all of the dresses I rationalize to myself that I need.
• Weekends that become a blur
• In the past few weekends MJ and I were able to:
• Go to all the cast parties (including hosting one)
• Get dinner with my Little, Jenny (Mike met her for the first time!)
• Spend our weekend day hours building sets (me) or practicing for mock trial (him)
• Go to a Shakespeare show
• Attend part of a Star Wars marathon
• Go to Absi's Halloweentown party
• At the end, our sense of time is warped and we're left wondering how the weekend is gone (or  is that just me?), but then we realize how we did end up getting everything done that needed to be done and we had some quality moments with friends along the way.
• These are all the pictures I've taken lately

MVM, Justine, me, Mike, Josh

Me, Mike, and Josh not ready for the pictures

With Bethany. Tribe Pride. 

And of course one with Benjamin

Vocab Lessons

Turns out that being a part of a community theater production is a bit of a language and cultural immersion. I thought I was already fully immersed! But, no, because here is a list of new terms I have started hearing and using (and probably improperly)...

Note: This is what I have assumed things to mean. I do not ask questions about what these things mean while they're being said because I don't want to be the obvious Newb.

• Call 
• Definition: This is basically the time when you have to be somewhere. 
• Use it in a sentence: Me: "When should I ask off work during show week?" Stage Manager: "Calls generally range from 6-7pm."
• Sitzprobe
• Definition: Hmmm...a seated rehearsal with the orchestra. Basically. Though I don't think actors are seated, just the orchestra. 
• Use it in a sentence: It was during our first sitzprobe rehearsal that the show really started to come alive with sound.
• Stumblethrough
• Definition: You walk through the entire show without knowing all of it to get an idea for pacing and staging issues.
• Use it in a sentence: My ego is still trying to recover from stumblethrough.
• Singthrough
• Definition: The first time you sing through the entire show with the cast.
• Use it in a sentence: Can we sit besides each other at singthrough so that I can hear what the notes are suppose to be?
• "Thank you, ____"
• Definition: It's this reply people say when they've been given a 5/10 minute warning. 
• Use it in a sentence: Someone important: "5 minutes, people!" The people who know what they're doing: "Thank you, five." Me: ........
• Chest voice
• Definition: Singing from your chest. 
• Use it in a sentence: When someone belts, they're using their chest voice.
• Head voice
• Definition: Basically singing falsetto outside of your chest voice range.
• Use it in a sentence: I have to go up to head voice for the high notes.

Here's hoping I'm less obvious than I feel!

Also: I was not feeling particularly well yesterday and took the day off from work. I feel so much better today so it just goes to show you that sometimes listening to your mind/body and taking a day off to do nothing is exactly what's needed to get back on track. 

Building

I've been assigned to 'set crew' for the show. In the show, everyone gets assigned to a 'crew' to get done all of the things (in addition to the actual performances) that actually have to get done to make a show happen. There are a lot of 'things' like costumes, lighting, finding props, doing hair and makeup, and.....building the set. These responsibilities are all split up between the cast and production crew. Jeff is the master carpenter (boss) and usually brings coffee and munchkin donuts for us which make it way easier for me to wake up early to get there. (#willworkformunchkins) I'm not going to lie, I thought I would hate building stuff and would also be useless. I've found, though, that I get the same relaxing zen-like high from building things that I do from working out. Like group fitness, I feel like I'm a part of a team and I also feel really productive. There are many days at work where I feel like I have nothing tangible to show for my 8 hours, but at set crew, I always have something to 'show' and something to check off our list. Doing some of the scarier things (like using a chop saw by yourself) can be really empowering. As empowering and as fun as it is, I also feel a bit of sad nostalgia working around power tools and sawdust.

My dad made a living doing construction. He started out working for other people and then started his own business that specialized in home remodeling and additions, mostly small projects that he could do by himself and the way that he wanted. He wanted to do things 'right' and of high quality. When we were little, I remember my sisters and I spending many weekends on job sites and helping my dad out, learning names of tools and materials, and taking trips to Home Depot. We actually kinda loved the trips to Home Depot and Lowes. Even though my dad tried to keep us close by, we'd always try to hurry him to our favorite sections: the lights/chandeliers aisle, and the bed/bathroom model section. We would always play house in the 'model' section. My dad was very particular about the way he built things and very smart. I think I get my perfectionist side from him, but I did not get his math skills. I would be in awe of the way he could do all of the math related to building something in his head. He just got geometry and the way things fit together naturally. With 3 daughters, my dad was completely outnumbered by women in our family. Because I know us, I know how difficult that can be at times, but I don't think he minded one bit. Yes, he was happy to teach us the value of hard work and teach us some things about construction or yard work or the way things work. We have this inside joke about my dad when we went to Disney once as a family and his favorite part of the ENTIRE park was the Swiss Family Robinson tree house where he was completely entranced by "How do they get this steel to look like bamboo?" and how the constructed the tree to look so realistic. That was him.

Sometimes Mike reminds me about the best parts of my dad. Like: When he gets all excited about a new project and researches it to the point of exhaustion....When he tries to put my extremely large set of car keys (so I don't lose them) into his pocket, but they hang out and jingle when he walks... (My dad always wore his keys clipped to a belt loop.) When he is right about something (or I am wrong) and he gets a little smug about having taught me something new....Oh my goodness! He gets so excited about teaching me new things....about stuff I don't care that much about....like sound....and space. 

I speak about my dad in the past tense because he and I haven't really had a stable relationship since I graduated in college. My parents divorced my junior year of college and it wasn't really the divorce that was so bad for our family as the way it dragged on and on and all of the things that have happened since then. I will spare you the details with the point being that sometimes I get nostalgic for the dad that I knew. It's not necessarily a sad nostalgia because it's honestly nice to be able to remember things the way they were. He was a wonderful dad and I'm glad that building things has given me an opportunity to feel closer to that part of my past.

Dismantle.Repair

I had big plans for this past weekend all of which fell through.....well, except for my plan to finish Call the Midwife on Netflix. We can cross that one off the to-do list. Instead of all of MY plans for being super productive, I got exactly what I NEEDED after a week in which I felt extremely out of sorts.

Also: the title of the post is title of a song by Anberlin that I thought of when writing this post.....I think mostly because I couldn't think of better words other than 'healing' 'restore' 'repair' 'cure' to describe the weekend. And going forward, I'll work to remember that sometime what we need to move ourselves on from disappointment is not 'trying harder', being more productive, or getting back on a pedestal of perfection. Sometimes all we need is to be still and let ourselves be comforted.

What I Needed:

Sometimes you need to follow some of your friends to a party full of 1Ls so that....

• you can remember exactly why you are glad that your undergraduate years are behind you
• you can realize how amazingly lucky you are to have friends who also feel no less than 50 years of age at such events and would just rather leave and play board games all night
• you can help chaperone

Sometimes you need to watch dualing guitar battles for 30 min at the H street festival and sign up for the rock opera listserv....

• because it's so inspiring and hilarious to see people just doing something simply for the fact that they love it
• (because you also you were probably hyped up on the free red bull)

The rock opera group at H street festival

Sometimes you need to walk from Dupont Circle  to Adams Morgan in the pouring rain for a shopping date with a new friend....

• because nothing bonds people together like fording rivers under one umbrella
• because waiting for weekend metro trains means tons of time to get every thought you've ever had out in the open and things are always better out in the open
• because being in NW means passing a starbucks every other block and it's about time you bought a pumpkin spice latte
• because being in a fancy urban designer store reminds you that you know nothing about men's clothing

Michael and a hat he almost bought

Sometimes you need to eat a homecooked meal, then play cards against humanity, then have your second ice cream of the day...

• because some days are a "two ice creams" kind of days (or 3 or 4....)
• because "oh hey" everyone deserves to win CaH once in their life or at least beat imaginary player Obama at the game
• because going to the grocery store with the boys is the most amusing thing EVER
• because there is something about the combination of comfort food, friends, improv piano, and neverending laughter that heals the worst of tummy aches

Sometimes you wake up and end up going on Home Depot/Safeway shopping adventures with the exact same people....

• because, when frienship comes this effortlessly and although I prefer Lowes, I'm not going to let you go to Home Depot without me
• because otherwise Mike would have no one to support his decision to buy an entire pork loin...

Sometimes at the end of  a weekend, you find yourself so overwhelmed with love that you feel an intense need to invite new friends over so that you can cook for them....

• and, because you couldn't just make a lasagna, it has to have garlic bread, salad, and red velvet cake as well
• because now you idolize anyone who can cook more than one course at once and have everything magically ready at the same time
• because you are so wrapped up in reminiscing and laughing you momentarily forget about the Redskins' loss and the fact that tomorrow is Monday

While I was cooking, I witnesses this circus act

 

These pictures are from a previous dinner at Lavagna (amazing handmade pasta!), but I still wanted to put them somewhere. 

 

 

flight of rose!



I thought they were pretty so I took a picture



Here's to an upcoming weekend in which everything definitely won't go as planned, but that doesn't worry me much....