I'm also linking to a huge album of pictures online because I'm too lazy at this point to go through all of them. Maybe I will later. http://jonathanzucker.smugmug.com/GGnSS/2013-Cabaret/2013-Cabaret-DR2-Unculled/33336660_Qn2BxM#!i=2894765044&k=ZwgMB4H
I've formatted this blog into what Anne Lamott says are the three essential prayers: Help. Thanks. Wow. Whether audible or not, these are the prayers I was praying this past week.
HELP
“If I were going to begin practicing the presence of God for the first time today, it would help to begin by admitting the three most terrible truths of our existence: that we are so ruined, and so loved, and in charge of so little.” -Anne Lamott
It has taken me long to gather my thoughts, mostly because I was incredibly exhausted after the show ended, emotionally and physically. We had strike on the Sunday after the show which is basically manual labor for 8 hours for your show friends, though we managed to have eating breaks at Wise Guys AND Five Guys (the best unhealthy food ever).
I had to work the Monday after strike so basically I had no break until yesterday when I stayed home at work due to being sick. I guess my body mandated rest.
Backtrack to show week. Monday and Tuesday were full dress rehearsals (basically shows) and Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were our performance nights. Mike and I attended all shows and all parties because...who knows when we might ever have an opportunity like this again? Also: I'm way too hyped up after a show to immediately go to bed.
I believe Friday was my best performance, but there was really not a less than awesome night to see the show, which is saying a lot. Normally there is one less than stellar night. I give a lot of this credit to our audience and all of the wonderful people who came to cheer us on as well as Backstreet Boys and Ke$ha sing-alongs backstage that helped pump us up pre-show.
Leading up to and during show week, "Help" was the prayer I prayed the most. Specifically, I wanted help not throwing up on stage, I wanted help dealing with my nerves, I wanted help for other people. More generally, I just knew that I couldn't do it alone. I didn't have the energy. I was tired. I was hungry. I was so so so nervous. And help came in the form of perspective and an overwhelming feeling of support from loved ones. Which brings me to....
THANKS
“Love falls to earth, rises from the ground, pools around the afflicted. Love pulls people back to their feet. Bodies and souls are fed. Bones and lives heal. New blades of grass grow from charred soil. The sun rises.” - Anne Lamott
Special special amazing shout-out to: 4 of my co-workers coming to see the show (1 of them came twice!), to Mike's friend Rachael for bringing 3 friends with her and also giving us flowers and pineapple after the show, to Mike's mom and grandma Frances for being adorable audience members, to Emily Goo for being herself all 3 nights she attended the show and being our unofficial MVP of audience members, to Kelly and Alex for the hugs and chocolate and making me feel like I was indeed 'legit', to my sister Kim and her boyfriend Paul for driving all the way from West Virginia to see me in a show, for Mike's grandparents Ween and Daddy Jim for driving up from NC to be in our cheering section, for Megan/Lauren/Jenny (my best friends from high school) carpooling up together to see me even though I regretfully couldn't hang out with them during the show (Friday night, they were the first people I noticed during Willkommen, in the very front row, and I loved it), Mike's entire Street Law team and especially to the guy who asked me if Mike ever kisses me how [he kisses Schenider on stage] and, when I replied no, proceeded to tell Mike that he had better start doing that, to David Husband and Shannan for surprising us and for David's laugh being so recognizable, to Pete for showing us some post-show love, to Lee and his wife for coming up and recognizing me even though I had never met them before, and to Paul Klingenberg for giving me a pre-show pep talk that consisted of "you have to love being naughty". Finally, my sister Courtney and her boyfriend Najeem drove up the Saturday night to see the show (is everyone aware that Courtney had just given birth that Monday and gotten released from the hospital on Wednesday?....expect an Ashton post coming soon). I can't explain how much that meant to me. She also had to leave shortly after intermission because apparently Ashton eats everything and was getting close to finishing the milk she had left him, but wow. So thankful for everyone who was able to make it and also those who regretted not being able to. The DVD should be out soon!
WOW
“What can we say beyond Wow, in the presence of glorious art, in music so magnificent that it can't have originated solely on this side of things? Wonder takes our breath away, and makes room for new breath.” -Anne Lamott
Over the course of two months, I have fallen in love with the team of a cast we had for Cabaret. Is this how shows always are? Because this is how they get you hooked. This being my first show, it's hard to compare, but I definitely think we had something extremely special together as a team that only comes around very rarely.
This feeling has become even more pronounced in the past week. Post-show nostalgia and remorse? I've not felt it at all. Fine, maybe a little bit when I find myself being way more productive with MORE time to do things. But we already have out first cast reunion planned this Friday evening. It started out as a #lowkey affair because don't people need a break from each other? The answer is apparently no. The event has grown from a viewing of Muppet Christmas Carol and hot chocolate to a giant Christmas party of almost everyone involved in the show and a smorgasbord of Christma treats that Buddy the Elf would approve of. Josh has apologized to me numerous times because I have to work at 8am on Saturday morning, but I could care less. I'm too busy wow-ing and being in awe of these people I did not know 2 months ago, but who now hold such special places in my heart. I keep asking myself: "Is this how it's supposed to be? Is it all going to last?", but I'm too busy wow-ing. The past week for me could have been a sad and nostalgic return to my day job, but apparently we're all on the same page in thinking 'it would not be better simply to go on as before'. So, wow, cabaret cast, Wow. I can't wait to see you all on Friday and to keep getting to know you all better.
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