Vignettes from ODS (so you can feel like you're here) #1

The other night I told Mike that I felt I knew little about what his day-to-day at ODS is like and that I really want to be able to empathize with him and learn a little bit more about his new world. I guess I convinced him to share more with me because he has written me some little stories about his time there. There are so good that I can't believe he wrote them on his phone. Mike actually gave a speech to his division using the M&M metaphor and everyone loved the comparison. I hope you enjoy them:)

#1 The Sorting Hat 

In many ways, a no-nonsense female tailor with an impenetrable South Asian accent determines the level of respect that you will have as a naval officer, because she is the sole arbiter of all your uniform sizes. You are specifically instructed, in fact, that you are not to disagree with her or suggest any alternate sizings. She is the naval sorting hat, and she can tell you your suit size just by looking you up and down once.

When I arrived at her station to be fitted for my dress blues, there were four guys in front of me. One by one they would go up and she would wrap a tape measure around their waist. Then she would place her hands on their chests and pause thoughtfully before pronouncing her judgment. "Athletic," she said approvingly to the first guy in line. "Hmm... oh... athletic," she said to the second guy in line. "Definitely athletic," she said to the third guy in line. Then it was my turn. Her hands went up and she ran them across my pectoral muscles. There was no hesitation.

"Classic."

#2 The M&M's Clause Explanation of ODS

Most business majors and almost all law students eventually come across the story of the M&M's clause. A rock band on tour would put this clause into every contract that they signed. It demanded a bowl full of M&M's placed backstage with all the brown M&M's removed. If the band saw brown M&M's in this bowl, they would refuse to play. Though seemingly insane, the reasoning behind this requirement was that a venue which paid attention to the M&M's clause could be trusted to pay attention to the important clauses relating to the safety of the stage and equipment, whereas a venue without such attention to detail may screw up on the big things as well. 

The M&M's clause is the best way that I have to explain everything we have been doing since the start of ODS. There are multiple rules for shoelaces, for belt buckles, for room item placement, for greetings, for insignia placement, etc.... Any violation of these rules results in punishment- not of you, but of your entire team. No one wants to let down the team because it will result in the disappointment of the chief and in sweaty team pushups performed while screaming 'one team one family' as loud as possible. Most of the day is spent doing menial things but there is stress from constantly checking up on the rest of your team and being paranoid that someone among you has forgotten to pick out the last brown M&M in the bowl.